30 Ways To Annoy Uchiha Itachi
by HarvestMoonRacoon
Summary: Guaranteed annoyances that will make even the most stoic of smexy Naruto characters want to kill you in many nasty ways, if he already doesn't want to.


**Author's Note: Mein gawd. 3 months and no 30 Ways! How have you all survived!**

**Here's an emergency dose of goold old HMR-insanity. I hope nobody's died from lack of these lists. It's just that everything has been so off here that coupled with my laziness as of late, I haven't gotten around to making these "30 Ways". Anyway, enjoy, people.**

_**30 Ways to Annoy Uchiha Itachi**_

1. (Carefully) perform a pole dance on Kisame's sword.

2. Put Super-Glue on your hand.

3. Touch his ass with the same hand.

4. Cut little people shapes out of his cloak and make them into puppets.

5. Send a letter to Maito Gai declaring his undying love for the Green Beast.

6. Somehow convince him to lick a signpost in the winter.

7. Scream, "IIIII'M NOT WEEARING PANTS TOOOO-DAAAAAY!" whenever you pass through a village.

8. Curl his hair while he sleeps.

9. Put a bucket on your head and spin around in an office chair in the secret Akatsuki hideout… place.

10. Walk up to the shadowy leader guy. Put your hand out as though to touch him. Naturally, your hand will pass right through him. Go "Vvvvin!".

11. Do this several times a day.

12. Get a Brownie Fudge Blizzard and hang upside down from a chair, just eating and watching him.

13. Pull the ropey thing out Sasori's stomach.

14. Try to comment at every silence on how much the Uchiha crest resembles a ping-pong paddle.

15. Sing "Eye of the Tiger" whenever Itachi goes into the bathroom.

16. Play with his hair, declaring it "pretty", "soft as a dead deer", and that it "tastes like chicken".

17. Betray his location to all of his fan girls.

18. Hit him in the back of a head with a tangerine.

19. Drink a huge amount of rootbeer. Walk directly up to Itachi just as the burp gates burst.

20. Somehow convince the entire Akatsuki to join you in a conga line through the halls of the Akatsuki fortress.

21. Find an Itachi plushie. Hug and love the Itachi plushie, and all-out flatter Itachi with compliments and declare your undying love for the stuffed toy. The next day, rip the doll limb from limb. Pin the remains of the toy to Itachi's door with shruiken and kunai knives. Explain to Itachi very gently that the plushie just "didn't fit anymore".

22. Go, "WOAH-HA-HA!" at completely indiscriminate times.

23. Catch two fleas. Place them in Itachi's bed.

24. When Itachi eats soup, get up onto the table casually. Step into his soup. Sit there for a second, before declaring, "This soup is too cold."

25. Shake Itachi's hand. Declare it felt like shaking a ten-cent pickled mackral in a paper bag.

26. Hug him.

27. Tightly.

28. Hum jazz music in his ears when he's training.

29. Find a baby picture of Itachi in which he appears to be an extremely feminine looking coconut monkey head. Post this on the internet.

30. Stow Rock Lee away into his carrying bag. Tell him it's Itachi's birthday, and there would be nothing more youthful then to pop out and surprise him.

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Itachi's Reaction:

Kisame bit his blue lip as his face turned purple.

"BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" the Isonade broke into a fit of out-of-characterized laughter.

The blue shark-like man fell backwards out of his chair, becoming tangled in the mouse as he rolled around on the floor.

Itachi, who had been standing stoically beside him, his face much painted with the same expression as it always had on it, ignored the blue man completely, even as Kisame's evil shark-man spit found it's way onto his bare, sockless feet.

"Wah-ha. Ah-ha-ah-ha. Ah-ha, ah-ha-ha… ha." Kisame finished, lying on his back on the floor.

Itachi blinked, and began scuffling out of his and Kisame's shared room, his face unreadable.

Ph. Dumb kid, writing fan fictions on how to annoy him. How utterly-

He was so absorbed in thought taht he didn't even realize Deidara hanging on to the edge of his cloak, hurriedly snipping away at people shapes in pinking shears.

Might as well see if that fan fiction worked..


End file.
